After much time of (over)thinking this decision, I finally took it. I feel such joy and relief that I dared to listen to my heart, instead of my fears. Just to be clear, it’s not that I don’t like my job. Even though it sometimes can get a bit repetitive it is actually very rewarding, exciting and my colleagues are amazing people! It is just that I feel that I was meant for something else, even if the job is awesome, it is not my dream. Even though I knew this decision was right, it was the toughest one I have made so far in my life. Over the past five years I have been building a quite strong and rapid international career within H&M, I jumped between different functions and countries, and was promoted almost every year. I have been growing tremendously as a professional, my progress was recognized and my future within the company looked bright. This is the kind of success that society values and the definition we are usually most attuned to, which is why this decision was so hard. I mean, we all want to be perceived as successful individuals, right?
However, as my own values and motivations have been evolving with experience, reflection and wise advice, the definition of success looks a bit different to me today than it did five years ago. Today, success to me is three things: finding and doing something you are passionate about, living life to the fullest and working towards a clear mission that you find meaningful.
However, giving up my career means sacrificing more than the societal definition of success. It means giving up the security of financial stability, I will no longer have an income. This is my number one source of fear at the moment. I do not have a wealthy family that I can fall back upon and I do not have much money saved. This puts pressure on me, as it means that my time to find what I am looking for is limited (I have even started valuing my expenses and purchases in time, an eye-opening way to look at spending). Of course it also means giving up fundamental things like my incredible home that I love and feel so safe in, daily habits and comforts as eating out, taking a taxi and having somebody clean my house, and what for me will be the biggest sacrifice of all: traveling. Weekend trips and vacations is what has made my life feel magical. Now, I’m betting on that magic to come from passion and purpose.
So to summarize, it is a high stake gamble and I feel like I am risking a near perfect life.
So do I still feel like I have made the right decision?
– Undoubtedly, yes.
How do I know?
– Because I feel peace in my heart.
All love and no fear,